everyone likes that bike but me

every month, every year...it's all the same.

the parking meters are free on the weekends and after 6. i park on the street that almost shares its name with a girl who has never given me the time of night. the street and I have been cool for almost a year. it's far enough to always have an available meter, and it only takes about 4 or 5 minutes on bike to get to the meet-up spot.

my car and favourite bike is still in the shop. on this night, i'm chose to ride the bike with the least things wrong with it. it also happens to be my least favourite bike. it fits me small, i can't get into the lowest gear, and the seat just ain't quite right. i can smoke a lot of folks stuck in that middle gear, but this is a night for cruising.

it started right away. some guy talking his head off about vintage bikes and how he liked this and that off mine. if he weren't taller than me, i probably would've offered to sell it to him. the night rolled on, and all in all ten people came up and complimented this bike. i wish that would happen on my favourite bike.

anywho, time to go pedal some more.

of the lion

sometimes i wonder how it does it.
sometimes i wonder why it does it.
it could all end...
if it just gave up. just give up!
why do you keep going day in and day out?
why keep going every night?
what's the point?
nobody loves you. nobody feels you. nobody hears you. nobody cares (except maybe one, but that doesn't count).
so...what are you doing?
why do you bother?
give it a rest already.
take a rest from the stress.

the sorrow tomorrow

i've already learned to not be excited.
i already know it will not be as imagined or desired.
i used to chuckle about this ability...
now i just know it and accept it.

deseo que sea mentira la mentira, pero siempre ha sido la verdad.
deseo que sea mentira la mentira, pero solo me crea ansiedad.

deseo que llege algun dia
cuando ya no seguirá siendo fria

lo unico que se es que no sera mañana.

b

i didn't know what i was going to say that night. i never thought it'd be me saying what needed to be said. it wasn't me. it wasn't her. it was us. the combination...well, it just didn't feel right. it lasted way too long and it could not go on.

sometimes i am tempted to miss it. it has been 3 or 4 years now, and i still haven't found what i'm looking for. maybe i am some sort of freak for wanting something a little less physical. i bet it's this crapped out back that makes me want something else.

can't we just...

shoot. nevermind. no cheat sheets.

when the levee breaks

it is the day before earth day 2010. i am pedaling my bike up a hill. no, i am not some sort of environmentalist hippie...i am riding because it helps with my mood at work, and because my car is in the shop getting the transmission replaced. this transmission...apparently only the dealer can work on it and it is designed to fail. that's another blog.

at this point in my life, i am used to pedaling a lot. it does not bother me to get on the shoulder of the highway and have cars pass me at a speed limit of 55 and common limit of 65. my trip to work is 9 miles long. most of it is flat and downhill, but 3 miles or so is uphill. it is a 2-lane road with no shoulder. recently, "land developers" came and built what seems like an endless amount of cookie cutter houses that are designed to fail, too. the road then became a nightmare for motorists. hundreds of families traveling on a 2 lane road that was originally meant to carry vegetables to the market from towns 2o or 30 miles apart.

anyway, there i was, pedaling up the hill like it was nothing. my legs were burning like usual, but this particular day i felt light. maybe it was because the day before i left my shoes so that i'd have one less thing to carry. maybe.

as i pedaled up this hill, suddenly an infamous suv roared past me. it's fumes lingered with me long after it was out of sight. and well, it got me thinking...

do they realize?
will it be too late by the time they realize?
if it keeps on rainin' the levee is gonna break.
when the levee breaks we'll have no place to stay.

i dunno. there was so much flowing and now it is hours later, i am tired. i guess it just often feels like everyone takes it all too lightly. it's not just about the fumes. it's about the lingering. the effects. i just hope it is not too late by the time they realize. unfortunately, i feel it will be.

i don't know why we feel the need to fuck up this planet. but eh, happy 24-hours of Earth Day.