Roll with it.

Remember to treat yourself well if no one else will.

It wasn't advice directed to me; I doubt they thought I'd ever see it. I think it's great advice though...and i'll try to remember it.
Roll with it. Right on! Ride on...

feelin' better

 I reckon i do a lot more riding than writing these days. I thought i'd share these views from my Palm..

san antonio as seen from the hays street historical bridge.

Friendly trees at the Friendly Spot Ice House

42

arreglarlo es de lo mas simple.
pero nadie lo quiere hacer.
nadie se preocupa en arreglar las cosas.
todo es desechable, eh? compremos uno nuevo!
solo yo grito "no!"
pero me siento igual al arbol en el bosque que nadie oye caer.

the strangest thing

"i'm familiar with that street", i told him.
i couldn't believe it. i punched in the address on my phone and cruised on auto-pilot.
i never expected to be cruising these streets again. i no longer had a reason to, after all.
when the phone told me to turn left, then a right...i remembered that day i heard her give me those same instructions. we chatted the last time i was on this straightaway.

i tried not to think of it.
i pushed it to the back of my mind until i got to my friend's house.
i simply HAD to look it up.
i hit the "view older messages" link and started to fast forward.
it WAS that street. a block and a half...a block and a f*(&@n half.

i tried my best to push it to the back of my mind. i enjoyed the company of my friend.
when it came time to leave, i made sure to head in the opposite direction of that place.

as fate would have it, i saw her parents. i waved...only to be unseen or ignored.
i suspect that would've been her reaction too.

i wanted to tell her. i wanted to call. i wanted to text. i even considered thinking about it until she responded. i didn't bother though. i can't be daydreaming that i mean anything to her. i don't.

take the which pill?

i woke up with the strangest feeling today. it was as though i'd had 2 16oz. coffees...the really crappy kind that gets you jittery. it was 2 minutes before my usual time to wake up. Being a holiday, i went ahead and called a 10 minute snooze before heading to work. i needed sleep.

i need sleep.

i think my heart needs sleep. my heart is strong, but i suppose even the strongest of hearts gets tired? i skipped my usual missions monday ride. i skipped out on a new ride on a new route too.

i need sleep.

i took some blue pills; not quite sure it'll help. it'd been a while since i'd taken any sort of pill. it made me want to watch the matrix. which was i supposed to take: blue or red?

tonight is a blue night.

how DO you mend a broken heart?

the man who sang those words is dead now. i wonder if he ever found out.
maybe it wasn't meant to be mended. maybe it was meant to gush and bleed like that oil spill in the gulf of mexico...months and months...polluting and contaminating life, ruining it for the foreseeable future.

everyone will have their theories. distraction. replacement.

maybe there just is no mending it.
maybe it just becomes what it becomes.