for what?

4 years ago, i wanted to think my friend was just hurting. he was weeks away from getting divorced, and he really wanted to work things out. i suppose him and i are the same in that regards....vows are vows. they are not just words. in his pain he confessed something that i'd hoped was only out of the crazy mix of anger and sorrow he was going through. but no...it seems to have been one of those rare moments of pure truth.

what was said i will not repeat. i suppose even though i know it to be true, deep down i don't want it to be. some part of me wants to believe that fairy tale. some part of me wants to believe.

this past sunday was pretty hard for me. let's just say it was one step closer to accepting that which i don't want to believe.