acknowledged and reciprocated

i met up with some good friends for a brew or two.

i have no idea how we ended up talking about relationships, but those title words struck a chord and ring on in my head. i often feel i'm alone in my way of thinking, and that night i felt some comfort (and some sadness) in that they were not coming out of my mouth.

as for me, i don't get it. it's never acknowledged or reciprocated. but it's all good. i'd like to think if it ever did come about, it'd be the bomb...and to steal a line from wu-tang: A bomb only has one time to explode.

i just hope i'm not a dud.

she says

thanks for being awesome, she says...
i'm not sure how to respond.
i've been so...
rejected
denied
ignored
down
uninspired
________
for so long.
years.
how could i be awesome?

she is too kind.
for no real reason.

strongheart

i wonder how things would be
if i rode wholeheartedly
people are amazed
yet i am barely phased

how would things be
if she rode beside me
if i rode beside her
and the rest was a blur

---


i have the same broken heart disease as her
but i am younger and stronger
still
it struck at the same time for the same reasons
but i am younger and stronger
i can keep pedaling and imagine it helps
it doesn't mean it's not broken
i wonder how things would be
if i rode wholeheartedly

what's the use?

...of this heart
...these legs
...this brain?

seems pointless, but i push on.

dream 69

i knew it was odd to receive some words after several months. a smile ran across as i read the meaning words, a smile until i realize it was a dream.

i awaken to a pounding heart. i wonder if this is why my timing has been off these days. i'm waking up 2 hours early or 10 minutes late. my clock hasn't quite figured it out yet and it's not much of an excuse no matter how true it be. maybe it's all connected? pumpbumppumpbump...heart, why can't you be normal? pumpbumppumpbump.

i wish i could tell my heart to just chill.
there's no point in getting worked up over nothing.