round and round we go

le sigh. my back hurts. as much as i try to massage it and caress it and do this or that...it continues to hurt. i hate it. it makes me feel old and broken...no offense to those with more years on this earth. but well, i'm trying to push on.

something to be happy about: i have a working camera again. i purchased the same one that i had previously, an olympus stylus 1010. it may seem like a mistake to purchase it for only $50 less than what i'd paid for my previous one. after all, it is a discontinued model now, and the new ones are better...faster...stronger. or are they? despite boasting more zoom and more megapixels, i simply wasn't happy with the new models. i liked my old one just fine, and i'm happy with it now. is that strange? is that one of those man/woman differences? or is it an adken/most people thing? not to talk bad about my mother, but an example comes to mind. i noticed she bought a red raspberry preserves from the walmart brand. no doubt there was a 50 cent or dollar difference in the price with the Smucker's jar, but from previous experience it does not taste as good...and actually tastes too sweet for our tastes. why not just get the one you like? or nothing?

some things to not be so happy about: i took a nasty spill on my bike the other night. i was headed home, and due to the nature of san antonio streets, was forced to take a detour. well, who knows what happened, but my tire blew out, my rear rim caved, and i went and landed on my behind. it doesn't hurt bad, but it does hurt. great...something else to hurt.

my heart also continues to hurt. (no, not physically). any time i'm sober i think i need a little buzz to spit it out. any time i have a little buzz, i know i should be sober to say it. i see yes's. i see no's. in the end, i figure i see what i want to see, so i guess it's all just me. :o\ then again, people are surprising. it's always nice to get a sign of life just when you've given it up for dead.

so tomorrow is my 1 day completely off from work. i wish there were some sort of organized ride here in town. it's pretty much everyone's day of rest. bleh. well, i guess i will go to sleep now so i can wake up somewhat early and make the best of it.

the end of a bike ride

I scribbled this on a receipt in an attempt to shake off the rust...
---
I turn left.
They turn right.
"Goodbye!", I yell. "Goodbye!" (again, since there's no reaction)
we've split off. A block down they realize i'm no longer there and i flash a peace sign just as a building blocks the view for good.
i must get back to the alamo. which way now? left? sure. no. left is my default but it is apparently not the right way. turn around; there's still time. hmm, i didn't have to go to the alamo after all. there's my car over there...

take me home, [city] roads...take me home...

last published on Feb 20, 2009

it's been a long time since we rock-n-rolled
it's been a long time since i wrote from my soul
i've been broken and super glued and cracked again...for the most part things have not gone well. there are blips of happy here and there, but i'm guessing that will fall apart soon. it always does, and besides, my thoughts tend to just cause a bit of a traffic jam and in the end i stay silent. do you know? by now i have no doubt on this end. and yet still there's that staying silent part. i should be yelling it, or saying it. its just too easy to stay quiet though.

anyway, squeak squeak. my blog skillz are rusty. if it really matters to you, you can check the feed on the side to see what's going on. you'll have to piece some things together though.

g'nite.

hooray

I am happy.

I can now watch clips like this one



instead of what i was watching in this test



...for free and in windows vista. i no longer had a license for the software that did the oprah test. but time passes on and stuff gets worked on eventually...

at first i thought 1gb was small, but i'm finding it holds enough.

i cannot sleep...

For some reason this seemed the most appropriate video for tonight. It has been 2 nights that i have not slept well.

This is a video by my friend Mike. We went to go see the Deftones some time ago, Recently the bassist had an accident and is in a coma.

Youtube is now putting a high quality option :o) but there is no fullscreen off youtube :(



i hope i can sleep soon.
i hope i can write soon.
i hope i can think soon.
i hope too much.