siempre lo mismo

it was a moment straight out of inglorious basterds. y'know...the guy orders 3 , but it slips his mind or he doesn't know and orders with the wrong fingers. such a small detail...such an obvious giveaway. my horrorscope had warned me there would be a moment like it this day. i really wish it had been wrong. she had no idea she gave herself away. i'm sure she had no idea she ruined my day. i must admit, it is a bit confusing. but...there is nothing to be confused about any longer.

i just...
just...
bah.
forget it.

pain.

if you asked me how long it has been, i wouldn't be able to give an honest answer. my guess is that i have felt like this for about 4 or 5 years now. i typically won't complain. what's the point in complaining? it's not like it would make me feel any better.

you may not know this, but living in constant pain sucks. it sucks having to fake your smiles. it sucks that people can never really understand unless they are going through it too. it sucks having to suck it up on top of all the other things that can make life crappy. but, what other choice is there?

gotta just...suck it up.

aberration

i apologize for not answering your calls and texts.
i am pretty sure they are not meant for this guy.
you're trying to reach that guy. he hasn't been around for a while now.
you hadn't noticed? figures.
this guy....THIS guy has his head full of sadness and madness.
you're trying to reach the one full of kindness and blindness.
well...like i said...hasn't been seen in...YEARS now.

so goodbye, good luck, thank you...and don't come again.

can you hear me now?

if i close my eyes i can almost see your killer outfit and murderous smiles.
you were aware, i was awake, and we were out there.

let's end it like that, no?















ob la di, ob la da.

no se puede

i look. i listen. i wait.
"what's the point?", i asked her.
i am glad she could not say. is it funny or sad?
all those people...
all those people...