rough night

tonight was rough.

we met at the alamo, as we do every last friday of the month. i looked for her...amongst all those...all those...fellow bike riders. i knew i wouldn't see her, but still i looked. amongst all those folks. amongst all those riders. amongst all those people. amongst all those...all those....san antonians. i knew before i even got there that she wouldn't be there, but still i looked.

at stop one i met with a friend that is not really a friend. he is more of a cool guy to hang out every once in a blue moon more than a friend. we spoke. we parted. i looked for her.

i split from the pack...lone wolf time. i knew before i took off that i wouldn't see her...but, i looked. past the closed shops. past the open restaurants. past the mobs on the street...i looked, but all i found was the spot where i parked my car.

i looked for her on the highway. i looked for her in the parking lot. i looked for her in the crowd.

i ran into an old friend. it didn't matter much that i didn't remember his full name and he didn't remember mine. it's a small world and apparently we share friendships. we share stories. we share a whole lot...so i gotta tell him, but how? what? where? why?

at this point i am brutally honest. more so than i already am normally. we're catching up after all...and i have always been brutally honest. i have always been me, and it has always been the same. shit...it's even got it's own hashtag now.