my own fault

it is my own doing, really. if i had followed my own advice, i would probably not feel this way now. i told myself i should not dream such things. i told myself i would not dream such things. i am not sure when the dreaming took over. i thought for once...and there the mistake.

i guess you really should be careful what you ask for. "pinch me, i'm dreaming", i asked. yep, i was dreaming. such a nice dream. so believable that it hurts to realize it was just a dream. in reality, there is no such friend. not for me, anyway.

i really wish i had been more prepared for the post-pinch.