i am not sure what's going on with my heart. i've kept track of it for a while now. surely it is not supposed to feel like this for over 420 days?! well, it has. i didn't think so myself, but that's why i've been keeping track.
there's a certain feeling i can't get rid of. every day i wake up thinking...maybe...maybe today it'll be gone. sometimes it is intense...sometimes i feel almost normal. i don't know what it is. maybe it's that broken heart syndrome that is going on around here? my heart does feel broken. my soul has felt broken since...since longer than this blog has existed. so here i am...broken.
so many things wrong. y'know...i think i'll just "save all my words for someone who speaks my language so clear"...
which if history has taught me anything, that is nobody. how great if it were somebody! it has always been nobody...
lately it's been tough to type anything out. i'm barely starting to write things out again. lately i find the best is to write it out, then burn it. maybe i'm just a pyro, but that is one way...guey. maybe it's the only way? meh.
let's try this again.
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