them

i'm not sure why i thought they could help. as i sat there listening to stories of pointless sex with people not worth it, i began to wish i had a beer instead of big red. this was not the conversation i had in mind. this was not the friend i needed.
night after night, the story repeats. those who need to be around aren't. ever.

this is the story of 2010.

just be an asshole!

it is disheartening to always hear the same answer. i don't even know if i can still call them my friends. why would they tell me that? i guess they do not know me.

i would rather be me, even though it means to be forever lonely.

wishes

i wish it would end. this...thing...that is ever so persistent.
i wish i knew what was wrong and that i could say, "go away!".
i wish i could finish that letter...the one that doesn't matter anyway.

there are many things that i wish. frankly, i've always been annoyed when i read something that keeps using the same line over and over. i will spare you.

wishes. pshhh.

24 oz.

she was sure i would have a good time that night. i wondered what she imagined that night as. they were having a great time out there, for sure. i could hear some unfunny jokes, laughter, chatter, and tejano music. i didn't feel like dealing with that and opted for a nearby slab/parking to enjoy a humongous Lone Star.

I'd kinda hoped someone would join; Lone star it is!

even in dreams

ding dong! i had been warned not to buy from the one in purple. ding dong! ding dong! i peek out and see the purple. she tries peeking in the window, but cannot see me from this low corner. i cannot see her either, only a piece of cloth moving around the window corner. i hear the steps walking away.

when the coast is clear i look out the window. it is her. she drives down the end of the cul-de-sac and makes a right.

i don't know why my mind goes to this one. she made it known some time ago, and well-known a few months ago...i am not that one.

ok, i guess. i just want to wake up normal again.